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Many of today’s project leaders have a great wealth of technical knowledge.  They perform sophisticated tasks, develop great solutions, and create innovative products.  They are technically intelligent, but many lack the leadership, interpersonal and social skills necessary to lead.

Project leadership requires building and sustaining a relationship of mutual trust, harmony and understanding with each individual in the project team. One way to make this happen is through assessing and matching the cue patterns from the words, eye movements and gestures of the other party, and always using positive language.

Consider how you use language in everyday communications, and the effect it can have on the person with whom you are communicating.

Imagine if your young son walks in and you say:

” See your granddad over there in his chair?  Go and ask him how his arthritis is today.”

The boy goes over to his grandfather.  “Granddad, how’s your arthritis today?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s bad, son.  It’s always worse during damp weather.  I can hardly move my fingers today.”  The old man sighed.  A look of pain crossed his face.

The boy comes back to you.  “Granddad said it was bad.  I think it hurts him”.

You continue:  “Now go over and ask Granddad what was the funniest thing that you did when you were very young”.

The boy went over to his grandfather.  “Granddad, what’s the funniest thing I ever did when I was very young?”, he asked.

The old man’s face lit up with a smile.  “Oh, there were lots of things.  There was the time when you and your friend played snowmen and sprinkled talcum powder all over the bathroom pretending it was snow; I laughed – lucky I didn’t have to clean it up”.

He looked into the distance with another smile.  “Then there was the time I took you out for a walk.  You were loudly singing a nursery rhyme you had just learned.  A man went past and gave you a nasty look.  He asked me to tell you to be quiet.  You turned round and said to him, “If you don’t like me singing, you can go bury your head”.  And carried on even louder…”  The old man laughed.

The boy comes back to you: “Did you hear what Granddad said?”.

“Yes”, you reply.  “You changed how he felt with a few words”.

The way we think affects the language we use and in turn, affects our behaviour.

There is a model, developed in the 1970s, called Neuro-Linguistics Programming (NLP), which can help to enhance communication, personal change and personal development. This model allows you to make full use of your brain and language to achieve effective communication and leadership excellence, with positive language at the heart of effective communication.

Project Success Project Success

There seem to be many definitions of “Emotional Intelligence” (EQ), so let’s look at the skills specific to project managers, and how they might be improved in project management training.

Here’s the definition of the seven EQ leadership competencies as proposed by Dulewicz and Higgs (2003):

• Self-awareness
• Emotional resilience
• Motivation
• Sensitivity
• Influence
• Intuitiveness
• Conscientiousness

All very desirable traits, but very difficult to improve through a standard training course or presentation involving lectures. Let’s have a detailed look at each of the points above.

Self-awareness

The ability to read one’s own emotions and recognize their impact. This implies an accurate self–assessment, and self confidence.

Emotional resilience

Your ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. Resilient people can adapt to adversity without lasting difficulty.

Sensitivity

Awareness of the needs and emotions of others.

Influence

Your ability or power to persuade or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, of others.

Intuitiveness

Having or possessing intuition; which is the direct perception of truth or fact independent of any reasoning process; or a keen insight.

Conscientiousness

This means you are  controlled by your conscience; which is the inner sense of what is right or wrong in conduct or motives, leading you to take the right action or to follow the dictates of conscience. The ethical and moral principles that control or inhibit your actions or thoughts.

Training or Experience?

It is our opinion that many of the above traits will be acquired by direct experience. For example, if you have gone through a particularly emotional event such as divorce or bereavement then you will have direct experience of resilience. You will be able to emerge from the event stronger and more resilient if you learn from the experience rather than succumbing to stress. Counseling and coaching can also be helpful here.

In terms of project management training; any soft-skills course can help to develop an increased awareness of your own abilities, particularly if the training involves an assessment instrument and some 360 degree feedback from other people (this is feedback that comes from all around a person, referring to the 360 degrees in a circle, with an individual imagined to be in the centre of the circle. Feedback is provided by subordinates, peers, and supervisors).

Again, it’s important to learn from this kind of experience and not get upset about other peoples comments. Seek out a training course with a suitable assessment instrument and use the training experience to become more self-aware.

Project Management Training Emotional Intelligence, Project Management, Project Management Training