In order to empower Project Managers with some tools and techniques to handle people-related issues in the Project Office, we’ve decided to go beyond simply talking about theory. So here are a few suggestions on how to recognise things that might lead to damaging behaviours by both yourself and others, and what you can do about it.

Triggers

Take a look at these triggers for reasons why you might be exhibiting high stress and lower EQ. Do any of them apply to you?

• Lack of sleep (are you getting between 6 and 9 hours of sleep each night?)
• Lack of Exercise (been to the gym, or for a jog recently?)
• Illness
• Criticising others
• Failing to reach your own and the Project Goals
• A feeling of being overwhelmed (for example by the number of emails marked ‘unread’ in your Inbox)
• Unable to switch off your mobile phone or  BlackBerry

Communication Blockers

Are you doing any of these when communicating either face-to-face or by email with your colleagues / team-members?

• Arguing?
• Lecturing?
• Persuading with ‘logic’?
• Giving ‘expert’ advice?
• Ordering?
• Directing?
• Warning?
• Threatening?
• Doing most of the talking?
• Making moral statements or judgments?
• Criticising?
• Asking or making three or more questions / statements in a row?
• Telling someone “you  have a problem”?
• Prescribing solutions?

If you are, then acknowledge that you might be part of the problem.

Here’s what you can do to improve the situation:

• Listen actively
• Express empathy
• Give people more time to think
• Deal positively with resistance
• Develop a “can do” attitude
• Work with people

There seem to be many definitions of “Emotional Intelligence” (EQ), so let’s look at the skills specific to project managers, and how they might be improved in project management training.

Here’s the definition of the seven EQ leadership competencies as proposed by Dulewicz and Higgs (2003):

• Self-awareness
• Emotional resilience
• Motivation
• Sensitivity
• Influence
• Intuitiveness
• Conscientiousness

All very desirable traits, but very difficult to improve through a standard training course or presentation involving lectures. Let’s have a detailed look at each of the points above.

Self-awareness

The ability to read one’s own emotions and recognize their impact. This implies an accurate self–assessment, and self confidence.

Emotional resilience

Your ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises. Resilient people can adapt to adversity without lasting difficulty.

Sensitivity

Awareness of the needs and emotions of others.

Influence

Your ability or power to persuade or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, of others.

Intuitiveness

Having or possessing intuition; which is the direct perception of truth or fact independent of any reasoning process; or a keen insight.

Conscientiousness

This means you are  controlled by your conscience; which is the inner sense of what is right or wrong in conduct or motives, leading you to take the right action or to follow the dictates of conscience. The ethical and moral principles that control or inhibit your actions or thoughts.

Training or Experience?

It is our opinion that many of the above traits will be acquired by direct experience. For example, if you have gone through a particularly emotional event such as divorce or bereavement then you will have direct experience of resilience. You will be able to emerge from the event stronger and more resilient if you learn from the experience rather than succumbing to stress. Counseling and coaching can also be helpful here.

In terms of project management training; any soft-skills course can help to develop an increased awareness of your own abilities, particularly if the training involves an assessment instrument and some 360 degree feedback from other people (this is feedback that comes from all around a person, referring to the 360 degrees in a circle, with an individual imagined to be in the centre of the circle. Feedback is provided by subordinates, peers, and supervisors).

Again, it’s important to learn from this kind of experience and not get upset about other peoples comments. Seek out a training course with a suitable assessment instrument and use the training experience to become more self-aware.